Today I will tell you the tale of what happened to me when I went shopping in Primark this afternoon. The weather in the UK has been wonderful these past few days. I felt oblidged to waste my student loan on some pretty summer frocks and some new shorts so trotted off to Primark to purchase my wears.
Shopping in Primark is never a good idea. In my experience, it tends to be brimming with chavs and screaming children flinging £2.50 vest tops on the ground for you trip up on and send you flying in to a rail of poor quality t-shirts. Today was no exception. Never the less I persisted, found some nice shorts and couple of nice dresses and made my way to the tills. It was only then that I noticed. There is a plague in the western world of recent years. Whenever it stops raining and is warm for even a day, these monstrous hideous rubbery creatures crawl out of the wood work and attach themselves to the feet of unsuspecting children and adults with no regard for fashion or even, frankly, common decency. I’m sure by now you know what I’m talking about but I will enlighten you for those still in the dark.
I’m sorry for the obscene photo. Just searching that on Google Images made me throw up in my mouth a little. This bizarre cultural phenomenon for holey rubber shoes that are terrible for your feet and terrible on the eyes.
I fit childrens shoes during my university holidays and in the shop we have a phrase. Crocitis. This is a term applied to children who come in to buy school shoes whos feet have become so wide and flat as a result of wearing these ghastly things all holiday that fitting them with proper shoes is a bloody nightmare.
Words cannot describe my horror at looking around me and realising I was surrounded by Croc wielding mothers with their Croc wearing offspring. I paid, I left and I will never return.